Hendrik Hertzberg has put to one side his analyses of the modern Republican party, the fillibuster, and governmental gridlock in order to meditate upon Hell. I'm going to pretend to refrain from making the obvious joke concerning how actually all these subjects are of a piece. Since I'm not so willing as he to extend the benefit of the doubt to the pope and his Church, I have to wonder why Hertzberg, a forthright unbeliever, seems so--what's the word? congenial?--when the topic of popery is at hand. My theory of the case is that his wife, New Yorker colleague Virginia Cannon, is, as this post suggests, a Catholic, and that to preserve domestic tranquility he is obliged to adopt an accommodating stance toward the Church of Rome, just as I am obliged to keep to myself my opinion about the programming on Bravo. (I am fond of Andy Cohen, however.)
Anyway, I should think that Hell is a topic, or destination, that the pope might want to avoid. Assuming that he is not a moron, it must be embarrassing to defend this crazy notion that people survive death and, on account of heretical, or nonexistent, theological views, spend eternity in a Lake of Fire. Who really believes that? Hertzberg jokes about whether he is in or out but let us put his case to one side in order to consider some others. Socrates: in or out? Spinoza? Gandhi? Bertrand Russell? (Yeah, I know, he's in the lake, obviously, but I assume all the popes are sitting in the vicinity of the Right Hand, and, compared to Russell, you might say of most of them: "God made him, therefore let him pass for a man.") I think I remember reading that, according to Thomas Aquinas, one of the perks of paradise is the excellent view it affords of Hell, which allows the saints to indulge themselves neverendingly in the pleasures of Schadenfreude. Were I a responsible blogger, I'd research this claim to make sure it's true. But that would involve dipping into the works of Thomas Aquinas, an activity for which earthly life is too short.
If Hell's proprietor is accepting friendly advice, mine would be to do away with the hot weather. Instead, imprison the damned in a comfortable library filled only with theological treatises by approved Catholic authors.
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