Andy Borowitz, who can sometimes out onion The Onion, has of late had Dr Ben Carson in his sights.
"Ben Carson: Pompei Victims Should Have Outrun Lava," blares one of his headlines. "Ben Carson Shattering Stereotype About Brain Surgeons Being Smart," declares another. I just saw the doctor interviewed on TV by Charlie Rose, and it made me feel kind of guilty for enjoying this sort of thing. It's funny if the guy is dumb in a glib sort of way, exuding self-confidence while hanging himself. Then you feel that he deserves it. Poor Dr Carson, however, just isn't up to the thrust-and-parry, and of course Rose isn't going to throw him a floatie in the manner of Sean Hannity. So the interview just disintegrates into Dr Carson gurgling incoherently. Uff-duh.
But the doctor is not alone. "Kevin McCarthy Enters Rehab After Admitting Struggles With Nouns And Verbs" is another of Borowitz's recent headlines. McCarthy, of course, was going to be the Speaker of the House until, with the TV lights shining, he put together a string of verbal curiosities--preeminently the admission, or boast, that the Benghazi investigation had succeeded in its goal of driving up Hillary Clinton's negatives. It was widely reported that McCarthy was guilty of a "political gaffe," which called to mind Michael Kinsley's famous definition of that phrase: when a politician makes a mistake by accidentally telling the truth.
One of the laughable themes of the election season so far concerns how the Republicans have "a long bench." Really? It looks to me as if they can't find a single person to put in the game. In their presidential contest, it's Trump followed by Carson. A few Republicans regret this, and wait for a "grown-up," Jeb Bush perhaps, to rise, but every time Bush speaks he adds to the list of what are now called "unfortunate comments." (Another recent Borowitz headline: "George W Bush Enjoying New Status as the Smarter Bush.") In the House of Representatives it appears that McCarthy, a manifest dolt, was the only Republican that Republicans want to put forward as Speaker. They can't govern themselves, and they have no interest in governing the country.
Don't blame the politicians entirely, though. The country is full of madmen, and Republican politicians are only trying to make themselves attractive to them. I caught a bit of "Morning Joe" yesterday. The on-air personalities were chortling about a poll showing that, by 79 to 19 percent, Americans favor restrictions on gun sales to mentally ill people. They couldn't figure out who the 19 percent could be. I guess it would be a kind of gaffe to suggest that it's the garden-variety Republican primary voter.
People say Jon Stewart is a genius. I think I disagree. He only demonstrated that for producing an effect of absurdist hilarity it is generally sufficient just to roll the tape.
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