I thought this was hilarious. If you're not inclined to follow the link, the author, John Quaintance, imagines a series of notes, in prose more reminiscent of text messages than the Federalist Papers, wherein Thomas Jefferson tries to get James Madison to clarify the meaning of the Second Amendment, and the busy Madison, pleading that no one in 250 years could possibly misinterpret his meaning in the way that millions have in fact misinterpreted his meaning, begs off.
"Of course I didn't mean that private citizens have a constitutional right to carry a musket," Eric the Blue paraphrases Quaintance's Madison. "If they did, Patrick Henry would have been shot a thousand times by now!"
And Jefferson replies, "LOL re Patrick Henry."
Googling John Quaintance, I land on his Twitter feed, and find such gems as:
- I think my daughter has super powers because I can hear her rolling her eyes at me through slammed doors.
- I'm sure if it was a group of Black Lives Matters supporters who took over a federal building cops would be pretty chill about it.
- I feel like I spent too much time learning to unhook a bra to never get to do it anymore.
- I've got 27 hours to quit caffeine, lose 20 pounds, and get good at guitar. [Tweeted at 9 p.m. on Dec. 30.]
- The top ten saddest sighs I've heard in my life were all from people who thought they were alone in an office bathroom.
So he's pretty funny, but he's also a professional, and how many of my days have been brightened at the very start when, waking in the dark and seeing Amanda's laughing face slightly illuminated by the soft glow of her smart phone, I ask "What're you chuckling about?" and get to hear the latest status update of one of her hilarious FB friends. This morning, Kyle: "I think we need to hear more about the weather forecast for Sunday's Viking game." I think it was yesterday that the friend I refer to as Funny Debbie posted about having produced some homemade hand soap. A perky auditor commented, "Congratulations! What do you use it for?" Debbie replied, "It's for washing your fucking hands."
Everyone complains about the young but I think, all in all, they're smart and fun. Plus, they don't like Trump. A hundred per cent of people who smoke while pumping gas are Trump supporters--another Quaintance tweet.
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