Working the remote like the guy I am, it's impossible to find a close contest to enjoy on TV this evening: Bernie, Ted, and the UConn women, all winners in a breeze.
With The Donald having taken some punches this week, I should perhaps confess that I've finally found an issue on which he and I agree. I mean abortion--specifically (it's necessary to specify), the position he had regarding punishment when speaking the other evening with Chris Matthews, as opposed to the opinion he had, according to his handlers, a few minutes after he got done talking with Matthews. For it seems to me natural to think that if "abortion is murder," then women who procure one should be punished. But The Donald, being new to the pro-life movement, added one two to the other and got something very close to four, whereas the aficionados know that the calculation really looks more like:
2 + 2 = limit x---->∞ (1 + 1/x)x - ex2 + (πx2♠-3)-¾ ≠ 4.
How was he supposed to know? When you're on the outside, it seems obvious that it's four, and that the procurers of murder deserve severe punishments. If you're really good at this kind of calculus, you can explain why it would be okay to save one three-year-old from a conflagration at the fertility clinic, rather than a hundred frozen embryos. A related problem for extra credit concerns why it might actually be a bad idea to allow delegates to the RNC to carry their handguns on the convention floor in Cleveland, even though they all presumably understand that gun-free zones are to blame for America's high homicide rate.
In next year's NCAA basketball office pool, I'm picking in every game, whether the competitors be men or women, the team that plays its home games closest to the Atlantic Ocean.
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