I follow this guy on Twitter, Bridger Winegar, who I think is hilarious. He writes for TV--Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson: not sure what his current gig is. Here comes a sampling of his tweets; if they inspire you to follow him, or join and follow, I get nothing, but you may get a few laughs, which according to The Reader's Digest is the best medicine.
Dating is interesting because often it ends up you've just been doing undercover research on your future enemy.
On my way to Home Depot to return my Christmas tree. [posted on January 15, 2018]
If I can just be patient and hang on for a few more hours, I think I can waste my entire day.
Riding a deer through a moonlit forest, quietly wondering what I'll watch on TV tomorrow.
Weddings are expensive, but ultimately, I can't think of a better way to introduce your coworkers to your parents' neighbors.
OK, time to turn this year around. [posted on December 30, 2017]
I just need someone to get me close enough to Trump so that I can throw up directly into his mouth.
No time to explain--I need someone to support me financially for the rest of my life.
My mom is the one who starts the fight on Thanksgiving but naturally I'm the one who gets removed from the casino.
I feel like the gown in hospital gown sort of oversells the glamour of what's going on there.
Sometimes I wonder if the corporation that's trapped me in this endless cycle of buying overpriced telephones even cares about me as a person.
It appears that, as usual, out of all the people at the museum I'm the one who appreciates art the most.
Just paid $5.2 million for this at auction. [his caption for the picture at the top of this post]
I came to this outlet mall looking for deep discounts on my favorite brands, but ultimately, what I found was myself.
I could go on and on, because he does, but enough. I think I read that he was raised Mormon, which may have contributed in some way to his squinty-eyed take on things--like, he maybe rejected everything about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints except for its dim view of the prevailing culture. Twitter recently doubled its character limitation but he usually doesn't need it. In fact, for a lot of his tweets the sharpness seems connected to the way in which there are layers within the extreme brevity. In that last one, for instance: just 21 words, but he lands two solid punches, one on consumerism and another on the tendency of contemporary Americans to mistake their narcissism for the fourth great monotheistic faith--and then there is the suggestion, too, of how personhood has disintegrated into a mere "brand," all tossed off casually in a tweet.
Comments