I.
Sane Person: The baseball season is a marathon, not a sprint.
Me: The Twins have won five of their first eight games! These games count, too! The season is five percent done and we're on pace for a hundred wins!
II.
Trump: I've been completely exonerated and vindicated by the Mueller Report!
Sane people everywhere: Ok, let's see the Mueller Report.
Team Trump: (In an undertone) Uh, maybe later. (Perking up) No collusion! No obstruction!
Trump: I forgot to say that Democrats hate Jews!
(Curtain falls on sane person pouring a drink)
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