Over beers in the backyard, I mention to a neighbor an article I saw about a study indicating that as few as five drinks per week can significantly reduce life expectancy. "Praise God!" she exclaimed, and then, I guess by way of explanation, she added, "My church teaches that suicide is a mortal sin so"—she raised her drink—"this is a pleasant workaround."
We'd been in the backyard awhile (by way of even more explanation). Another neighbor observed, helpfully, that if suicide is allowed to be a sin then by definition it's a mortal one. Someone else pointed out that one of Jesus's miracles was turning water into wine at a wedding. Trying to lighten things up, I offered that the real miracle would be if the couple lived happily in holy matrimony "till death do they part." The woman enjoying her suicide workaround said that her church had some notable ideas on that topic, too.
I'm setting this down only because I suspect some are under the impression that religion is dead here in the People's Republic of South Minneapolis.
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