As a kid, I was a huge fan of The Lone Ranger television series starring Clayton Moore in the title role and Jay Silverheels as his faithful sidekick, Tonto. I see now that they stopped making new shows in 1957, so all my viewing pleasure in the mid 60s had to be courtesy of reruns. I'm watching reruns again in 2019, because one night, zipping around on the remote, I found a cable channel that airs several episodes in a row at off hours. Lots of air time to fill, no doubt. It's sort of fun to watch and wonder about what the attraction might have been for 6-year-old me. I haven't seen a single episode wherein the plot seemed at all familiar. Maybe that's partly because the plot lines are so similar that they would slur together in anyone's mind and then be forgotten altogether over 55 years. But I think it's more likely that they were beyond me. I do remember the opening sequence, especially the part where the Lone Ranger's horse, Silver, rears up, and the Lone Ranger, astride him, takes on the aspect of a colossus. What a man! Another thing I remember is a recurring technique, a kind of scene divider, where the camera backs away to watch Tonto and the Lone Ranger riding their faithful horses Scout and Silver, respectively, over rough terrain, in a mad sprint, like they were in the Preakness Stakes. It didn't occur to me then, but it does now, that, often as not, there is no reason supplied by the plot for them to be in such a hurry. It just looks cool, and I must have thought it looked cool, because it's familiar to me after more than 50 years.
The network that airs these shows is called WHT, channel 367 in my Direct TV lineup. Strange to say, their specialty is not old westerns but, rather, religious programming of the very battiest variety. I know this because sometimes, using Guide on the remote, I zip through their schedule for the day to see when I might be able to see "The Lone Ranger." Of course, the names of the shows come up, together with the "description." I wrote some of these down today.
At 8 this evening, you could watch "End-Time Insights" with host Steve Cochran, a show that "offers new 'Never Before Seen' Biblical End Time Revelations, one of which is called, 'The Graph' and offers a hidden timeline as seen in the Book of Revelation." I can't fill in any details, as I was watching the Ravens beat the Patriots, but something about the sentence does arouse my editorial impulses. For one thing, the capitalization is about as eccentric as in our president's tweets. Also, if the timeline is as seen in the Bible, is it, strictly speaking, accurate to say that it's hidden? I guess that's the hook: it's only hidden if you don't watch the show.
The 8:30 time slot this evening was filled by "End of the Age With Reverend Irwin Baxter." It seems WHT's Sunday night programming is devoted to the end of the world. The description for Rev. Baxter's show is bland: "The prophecies of the Bible explained." This was followed at 9 by "The Coming Apocalypse": "Understanding today's world events from a biblical perspective with Pastor Paul Begley." I'm going to guess that today's events pertaining to "the coming apocalypse" involve unrest and controversy in the Middle East. If Pastor Begley is smart, he will be "intrigued" by what is going on but not so confident about what he sees as to be able to assign a date to the apocalypse. That's a rookie mistake made by some of these clergymen. If you're wrong, you look sort of ridiculous, and there is no real pleasure in being right, because, due to the world having ended, no one can hear you say "told ya so"—not that anyone in a couple millennia has yet experienced this frustration.
At some time late at night, like maybe about now, there airs a show called "It's Supernatural" in which "investigative reporter Sid Roth verifies the supernatural," though probably not to everyone's satisfaction, since one idiosyncratic definition of supernatural is something like "that which cannot be verified." At 6 tomorrow morning, you can skip "Morning Joe" on MSNBC and watch instead "The Jim Bakker Show." I take it this is the guy who used to be married to Tammy Faye and that he's out of prison?
No "Lone Ranger" till 2 in the afternoon. Hi-yo Silver, away!
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