If it's true that you should "write about what you know," this post is long overdue. I'm not going to take up subjects about which, were I qualified to speak, I wouldn't be a poor golfer myself. I have in mind more the mental aspect of the game, mistakes I've made a million times and now, age 62, I'm finally learning to avoid, occasionally.
For example, if you are a poor golfer, you probably hit a lot of shots way off line, especially the tee ball. The penalty for this, since as a poor golfer you are most likely not at Winged Foot or Bethpage Black, is generally not too severe. You will be able to find your ball. Pretty good chance you'll even have a decent lie, since the grass in the "rough" is cut in order to keep poor players moving, not to mention that you can improve your lie if so inclined. The most common problem is trees. Maybe you have an alley to the green between two trunks, but of course the trees grow together above a certain height, with the result that, while you are at a 7-iron distance from the green, your 7-iron, properly struck, would fly up into the canopy and most likely come straight down. Moreover, the tree trunks forming the alley to the green might be alarmingly close together. Instead of trying to hit a low shot between them, you could play your ball back to the fairway through a much wider opening that, alas, makes about a 60 degree angle with the line to the green.
What should you do? I'm not here to tell you. If you want to make a score no worse than usual, you should probably just get the ball back in the fairway. But it's fun to try to make great shots. If you succeed, you'll enjoy it a lot. I just want to tell you what, from my own experience, I know you should not do.
Suppose you decide to try for the great shot, low, between the tree trunks, landing on the fairway and possibly running onto the green—or, alternatively, ricocheting off a tree trunk into some even more abominable location. Naturally, you'll be eager to know which has occurred, so the tendency is to look up to check the result before your club has struck the ball. Don't do that! The result might very well be a grounder that rolls up next to one of the tree trunks you were aiming between. You shouldn't be taking a big swing at the ball, because you're trying to make a relatively unlofted iron go some fraction of its normal distance, so a crisp contact that gives you a chance is well within the realm of possibility, even for a poor player, if you can only beat down your anxiety.
Choosing the safe play back to the fairway has, somewhat surprisingly, a related peril. You have no doubt contemplated trying for the great shot but decided instead for the easy one. Your work isn't done! You have to execute the easy shot. If you think it's easy, it's easy to be too casual, and you end up just stubbing the ball forward 20 yards or so, leaving yourself with new trees to aim between on your third shot. Speaking of the third shot, it's a good idea to think of it before hitting the "easy" second shot. Suppose, for example, that you're in the trees on the right side of the fairway. You can't aim at the green, but if there is, say, a sand trap guarding the right front of it, you should make sure you hit your "easy" recovery shot far enough so that a straight but short third shot finishes in the grass in front of the green instead of in the sand. You're a lot more likely to salvage a bogey with a chip and a putt than with a blast and a putt. See what you've done? Force yourself to notice that there is something to be achieved with the "easy" shot and you are a lot less apt to make a mess of it.
Sometimes, since you are a bad player, you will with reason doubt your ability to hit a good shot. If it is a tight driving hole, for instance, you might be tempted to "club down" in order to hit a straighter shot. Please realize that if you're thinking this way you're already doomed. You might as well hit your driver, because your chance of making a good swing with a 4-iron is in the range of zero-to-negligible. Moreover, if you happen to luck out, it's obviously better to luck out with the driver. So tee it high and let it fly! You won't be the first to hit into some rich guy's backyard. The truth is that the mental exercise of having these exact thoughts might actually increase the chance of hitting a decent shot.
Such bravado is not always called for, however. For example, a tight driving hole may only become tight a couple hundred yards out. Maybe it's a short par-4, 310 yards, and, to compensate for its length, the last hundred yards are narrow and punitive if you're not in the fairway. If you're a poor player, just fess to it and hit your 180-yard club from the tee box. You have a lot better chance of hitting a straight 8- or 9-iron on your second shot than you have of hitting a straight driver into the bottle neck. Remember, you're not very good! But don't forget about the above-described danger relating to "easy" shots. Try and make a good swing with your iron off the tee.
Some people will ask about drinking on the golf course. It's a personal choice, like whether or not to try for the great shot between tree trunks. I'm certainly not opposed to being sociable. Maybe I'm deceiving myself, but I feel like some of my best—least bad—golf has been played when I was . . . relaxed. As on other occasions, there is a difficulty in maintaining oneself in the relaxed zone. The tendency, over 18 holes, is to slip into what might be termed "frankly impaired." I read somewhere that the reason there are 18 holes, a seemingly eccentric number, is that golf began in Scotland, and the Scots calculated that 18 nips from the bottle, one on every tee box, was all that a golfer could handle. Of course this was before carts, so players had to walk. Maybe by "nip" the Scots meant "wee nip"? To me, 18 seems like a lot, and I would say that, if you're trying for a score no worse than your usual, hold off till the back nine. I've studied the swing of the legendary Bobby Jones and it looks very free and easy, like he might have had a couple. Maybe you can make some nice, fluid swings and then be on the 19th hole before attaining "frankly impaired." Golf's a wonderful game!
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