At least the Gophers' deteriorating basketball season lifts the spirits of my daughters, who are filled with glee by the sound of me shouting at the TV. When my agony is at an end, they mock me with imitating cries—"Stop standing around!" and "Take care of the ball!"—before breaking into peals of laughter. "It's just a game, dad," advises the 10-year-old, when she's stopped laughing enough to speak intelligibly. I'm too worked up to explain that "everything" is "only something" and that not caring who wins basketball games puts you on a slippery slope to nihilism.
Why is it so hard to win a road game? I used to think that a boisterous home crowd, ten thousand or more packed into an indoor space, tended to intimidate the visitors, breaking their poise in a close game and maybe having a subconscious effect on the officials as well. COVID has shot down that theory. Gophers can't win on the road in an empty arena. The conference season is more than half over and last night was the first road game in which they were remotely competitive—usually they've been close at halftime before getting obliterated in the second half. Meanwhile, they've lost only one home game. I fail to understand.
Also, I used to be mildly amused by how many college basketball coaches were game-day fashion plates. Now suddenly they all dress like Bill Belichick. Apparently the sporty jackets and loud neckties were for the fans, not the TV cameras. Maybe this is a good thing. If Richard Pitino had had access to a necktie last night, he presumably would have used it to hang himself in the locker room after the game.
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