The kind of October Saturday—bright sunshine and just warm enough to make you wonder whether "crisp" might be inapt—that seems intended for college football. I haven't had a Gopher ticket since the Mason era, in the Metrodome, which was peculiarly depressing, and not just on account of the atmospherics: of the half dozen or so excruciating losses that I was sober enough to remember, the one that stands out was the time Michigan scored 31 points in the fourth quarter to beat us, 38-35. I think I remember reading it's the only known game in D-1 football history in which a team rushed for more than 400 yards and lost. Ah, yes, I see now, thanks to this new thing called The Internet, that the game I'm remembering was contested on October 10, 2003, and that the Gophers rushed for 424 yards to Michigan's 94. Lost anyway.
It was on a morning walk with the dog that I fell in love with the weather, and I considered going to an MIAC game, but I've noticed how one-sided not just some but most of the games seem to be. Last week, for example, there were five conference games, and here were the scores of three of them: 49-7 (Bethel over Hamline), 50-0 (St. John's over Augsburg), and 72-7 (Gustavus over St. Scholastica). Athletic competition? Or assault and battery? Either way, I don't want to be a witness.
So I opened the windows and watched the second half of the Gopher game on TV. Luckily, PJ Fleck was making the in-game decisions and not me. Around half way through the last quarter, the Gophers, leading by 5, had the ball between the 40s. After three straight runs, it was 4th-and-1. I groaned in my soul when the punting team took the field, but then we called time out, and I thought maybe we were reconsidering. No, we punted, Nebraska fair caught it on their own 10, and then on the first play we scored a safety when their quarterback, under pressure, was called for intentional grounding in his own end zone. Good call to punt, Coach! We get two points and the ball. "Please don't be too conservative," my Left Soul whispers to the Right One. But we run on first down and lose 3 yards. Earlier in the game, we had completed something like 16 passes in a row! On second down, we run again, nevertheless, and gain 9. Now it's 3rd-and-4. We run off tackle and gain 5 for the first down. Two plays later, we bust a run for about 55 yards and a game-clinching touchdown.
When they think you're going to pass, run; and when they think you're going to run, run anyway. It can work, especially if you're ahead by a little late in the game and your offensive line, which may or may not fit within the Grand Canyon, has been leaning on the other team for 3.5 quarters.
I downloaded a pedometer on my phone and set a goal of 8500 steps per day. With weather like this, I've been almost making it. Dog gives me a cockeyed look when I have the leash in my hand again, as if to say, "Damn, man, we got back from the last one only about an hour ago."
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